The Genuine Article/Transcript
(The episode begins at Jon and Garfield's house as the light instrumental music plays) Garfield: (yawns) What shall I do? What shall I do? Should I-? Nah. Maybe I should- No, I did that. There's only one way to decide... I'll leave it up to fate. (He opens up a drawer, takes out a blindfold to cover his eyes, takes out a dart and tosses it at a dart board on the wall.) Let's see... eat, sleep, watch TV,... Oh, boy! (He notices that the dart has landed on "KICK THE PUPPY OFF THE TABLE". He immediately does so on an unsuspecting Odie, causing him to howl and crash onto the floor.) It wasn't me this time, Odie. It was fate. Jon: (suddenly appears) Garfield, what did I say I was going to do the next time I caught you kicking Odie off the table? Garfield: Uh, force-feed me pizza until I can't stand it any longer? (Jon tosses Garfield out of the house as the door slams behind him.) Jon: I said I was going to throw you out for a day without lunch. Garfield: Oh, right. Actually, given the quality of the lunches around here lately... Herman Post: (to a passerby) That cat is just amazing. Garfield: I am being spoken of! Herman Post: (to passerby) He sleeps all day and all night except when he's eating. And you should see this cat eat. He's got his owner to trained to cook and wait on him, hand and paw. Garfield: Ooh, I'm so proud. Herman Post: (to passerby) Oh, and the way he annoys the puppy that lives there. Passerby: Uh, this ain't the Arbuckle cat you're talking about? Herman Post: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. This cat is named Gabriel. He lives over at Elm and Third. Garfield: Gabriel?! (Suspenseful instrumental music comes up as he rushes to where Gabriel lives and looks inside) Looks like an average house. (He sees a fat cat inside walking) That must be Gabriel. He doesn't look like me. Probably doesn't act at all like me. (Gabriel's owner holds out a pan of freshly baked lasagna) Owner: It's time for your 3:25 lasagna, Gabriel. Gabriel: You're 46 seconds late. (He devours the lasagna in one bite as Garfield watches.) Garfield: He's... He's devouring the lasagna! (Gabriel burps) That's my devour! Gabriel: (to his owner) Uh, next batch, more tomato, and go a little easier on the ricotta, okay? (to himself) Well, uh, should I take a nap or watch TV? Uh... Ooh, hey. I know what I want to do. (He sneaks up behind an unsuspecting white and brown-spotted puppy dog named Ollie on top of a table.) Ladies and gentlemen, kicking Ollie off the table. (Drum roll and cymbal effect as Ollie howls and gets sent crashing to the floor by Gabriel's kick as Garfield looks on.) Garfield: That's my kick! That's how I kick Odie off the table. Thief! Crook! Plagiarist! Owner: Gabriel, what did I say I was going to do the next time I caught you kicking Ollie off the table? Gabriel: Uh, make me watch all my favorite TV shows until I can't stand it any longer? (Gabriel's owner tosses him out just like how Jon did with Garfield.) Owner: I said I was going to throw you out for a day without lunch. Gabriel: Oh, yeah, right, yes, that's what it was. (Door slams behind him.) Actually, given the quality of the lunches here lately... (Garfield rushes to Gabriel) Garfield: (rushes to Gabriel) You! Gabriel: Me? Garfield: Yeah, you! You stole my act! You stole my attitude, and my appetite, and how I kick puppies off the table! Gabriel: (dismissive) Oh, big fat hairy deal. Garfield: '''You stole that, too! You live like me, you think like me, you even eat like me. How could this be happening? '''Gabriel: (V.O.) How could it be happening, he wondered. Well, anything can happen in one of (echoes as "Gabriel's Scary Tales" appears on the screen) Gabriel's Tales of Scary Stuff. (Gabriel's Scary Tales appears on the screen, but Garfield rubs it out.) Garfield: (rubs out) No. You don't have Tales of Scary Stuff, I have Tales of Scary Stuff. Don't you go trying to have Tales of Scary Stuff. (to Gabriel) Okay, I'm through pussyfooting around here, fella. Either you knock off stealing my life, or I'll sue you for copyright infringement... or something. (He glares at Gabriel and starts to storm off) Gabriel: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah, I'm real worried. Talk about having a bad hair day. Garfield: And don't talk to the viewers! They're my viewers! I '' talk to them! ''(Garfield again walks off as Gabriel does his whatever stance with his paws the way Garfield does.) Garfield: (to the viewing audience) Well, are you coming? (motions the camera to pan to him and then talks to himself) I've gotta do something. This is driving me bananas. Gabriel: (V.O.) Ah, you know I knew exactly how he felt. It was affecting me the same way. Garfield: Shut up! (The scene dissolves to the interior of Garfield's house at night as he tosses and turns.) Gabriel: (V.O.) All night long, he had nightmares, bad dreams where everything he did was also being done by the cat, Gabriel. Garfield: Stop narrating my life! (yawns) Whatever I do, he's watching... imitating... stealing everything I have away from me. (snores) (The scene cross dissolves to the first part of Garfield's nightmares where Gabriel is walking with Penelope.) Gabriel: So what do you want to do tonight, Penelope? Penelope: I don't care, just so long as we do it together. Garfield: 'He's got my girl! ''(The scene cuts to the second part of Garfield's nightmares where Booker writes down the "and Friends" part of the logo of Gabriel's show.) '''Booker: (confused) Gabriel and Friends? Gabriel: That's right. I'm taking over. Garfield: He's got my show!!! (The scene cuts to the third and final part of Garfield's nightmares where a reporter is advertising Gabriel plush dolls.) Reporter: And the newest fad sweeping the nation, little dolls of Gabriel stuck inside car windows! Garfield: HE'S GOT MY MERCHANDISING!!!!! (The nightmare sequence ends with Garfield and Gabriel waking up at the same instant) Garfield: ''(screams in horror)'' Gabriel: ''(screams in horror)'' (Garfield and Gabriel rush out of their houses and down the street.) Garfield: What a horrible nightmare! Gabriel: What a horrible nightmare! Garfield:I've gotta find him! Gabriel: Gotta find him! (They meet each other on the street) Garfield and Gabriel: '''There you are! I just had the worst nightmare in my life! You did? ''I ''just had the worst nightmare in ''my ''life! Stop saying the same things I'm saying! I'm warning you! '''Garfield: I have to break this pattern... do something he would never think of! Garfield and Gabriel: Wait right here! I'll be back in a second! (Garfield and Gabriel rush back up the street to their houses.) Garfield: He thinks he knows what I'm going... Gabriel: ...to do, but I'll show him. Garfield: I'm not as easy to predict... Gabriel: ...as he thinks I am. (Garfield furiously digs through his costume trunk and dresses in a mix and match costume.) Garfield: This'll get him! (He rushes out of the house to meet Gabriel on the street) I'll show him that Garfield the Cat isn't... Garfield and Gabriel: ...someone you can just imitate and rip off like.. (both screaming) Where did you get that outfit? Never mind! Gabriel: (finally confesses) Garfield, you have to believe me, I never meant to let it get this far. See, I've always admired you. Garfield: I understand. I've always admired me, too. Gabriel: I wanted to be so much like you, but now, it's, you know, it's gotten out of control. I've lost my own identity. Garfield, you have to help me stop being you! Garfield: That won't be easy, but I think there's a way. Will you do everything I tell you? Gabriel: Everything. Garfield: Then come on. There's not a minute to waste. (The scene dissolves to Gabriel's house where Garfield sets up Gabriel's new food items on the table.) Gabriel: (V.O.) Well, anyway, he took me shopping, then he started planning my meals. Garfield: '''You're narrating again! '''Gabriel: Sorry. What is all this? Garfield: Health food. Salads, yogurt, protein drinks. Go to it. (Gabriel devours the salad as the scene changes to him doing push-ups while Garfield eats ice cream and watches.) Gabriel: 114, 115, 116... Garfield: Keep it up. Gabriel: 117, 118, 119, 120,... Garfield: ''(licks some ice cream) Mmm, cookies and cream. ''(The scene cuts to Gabriel's bed). Garfield: 'Exactly eight hours of sleep a day, no more. And you're gonna cut back watching TV so you can read more books. ''(V.O.) ''For weeks, Gabriel trained just as I told him, and he improved. And, by the way, please notice that ''I ''am narrating once again. ''(The scene changes to Garfield's house where Garfield and Gabriel are standing, Gabriel has turned muscular.) '''Gabriel: You know, Garfield, I haven't done anything even remotely Garfield-like in weeks now. Garfield: It shows. Gabriel: How can I thank you, Garfield? Garfield: 'Just be yourself, and if you ever don't want to be that, become an Elvis impersonator. '''Gabriel: '''I'll make a note of that. ''(The scene cuts to inside) 'Garfield: '''Well, I guess I took care of that problem. ''(Jon enters the room as Garfield prepares for another nap.) '''Jon: You sleep all day, eat everything you can. Garfield, you're one of a kind. Garfield: And I aim to stay that way. (Episode ends.) Category:Garfield and Friends Category:Garfield and Friends episodes, Season 6 Category:Transcript